Obama's finally done something I can agree with...

by David Alvord

PETA? How about PETABOA? That stands for "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals By Other Animals". The way I see it, most animal cruelty is delivered by other animals. A few years ago, (this is a true story...just ask Laura) I saw this bird in my backyard and it was being attacked by our cat. Our cat was messing with it for about an hour. The bird's wing was injured and the cat was just poking it and taunting it. All of these other birds started to swoop down and try to distract our cat, but Lucy didn't care. She went on messing with the poor bird. It was one of the saddest things I had ever watched. Eventually, upon my wife's insistence, I decided to deliver the bird out of danger and so I took a tennis racket and lifted the bird and flung it over the fence (out of the range of our cat). I'm sure that the poor bird died over there...eaten by another cat or something.

That night, as we ate our KFC, I thought to myself about how much nicer we humans are, without even trying, to the creatures that we eat. Our cat would have tortured that little bird for several hours had I not intervened.

So the other day, Obama swats this fly and actually hits it! I was proud to be an American! I can honestly say that this was one of the first things Obama has done as president that I agreed with.

And so PETA actually condemns his actions! Are you serious? Other animals are so much more cruel to other animals than we humans are. Go see the movie documentary Planet Earth, or Earth...and you will see all of these lions attacking a huge elephant. Can you imagine some lunatick human doing something like that? I mean jumping on the back of an elephant and just gnawing on it's back for an hour? The guy who tried that would be considered totally insane and cruel. But when it's a lion doing it, we just watch and do nothing about it! There's some kind of weird double-standard. How many flies are being eaten by frogs and bats as we speak? How many trillions of plankton are being slowly digested in the stomach of the humpback whales as we speak? Did you know that the female black Widow spider eats her male partner ALIVE after her eggs are fertilized? How do you think that makes the males feel?

So, PETA, if you are in the business of decreasing animal suffering, you had better start with the animal kingdom itself...otherwise you are straining at a gnat while swallowing a camel (not to be taken literally, that would be cruel...see THE NEW TESTAMENT).